Sonny Rollins: I am trying to get a deeper sense of expression musically. I mean people tell me, "Oh gee, Sonny. You still practice. How come?" Well, I am still searching. I still am trying to get to something hopefully more profound than what I'm doing now, and I think it's possible. I think it's there, but it's not always -- every now and then I get a little snatch of it.
Sonny Rollins: When I have a particularly good performance, I know it. But you know, it doesn't happen more than maybe a few times a year -- if I'm lucky -- that I really get into something which is really where I would like to be all the time. But it is something, you know, it's something that... I am not there yet. I hope there is time to get there, because I'm not 15 years old anymore, but there is something else there that I am still striving for.
I'm dissatisfied and I'm always striving. There's musicians that I know who are more talented than me, and more gifted than me. They don't have to do that, they can just... And a lot of guys have learned their craft and they get to a place, and they are satisfied, and the stuff they do is great. So it's an individual thing. In my case, my thing is constantly looking for something else. I'm not satisfied yet. I know there is more there. I don't think I have expressed myself yet really, but every now and then, a few times a year, I have a tremendous concert where I really feel that I am beginning to break the barrier and really get into a deeper spiritual place, and it happens. When it happens, then, "Wow! I'm right. There is something else. There is something more than what is here."
How would you describe the life of a jazz musician?
Sonny Rollins: The life of a jazz musician is a very precarious life. A good friend of mine, a pianist who has got a good reputation, he just had sort of an altercation, and he was hurt. Jazz musicians, they want to express everything, and their life is sort of right out there on their sleeve, but we live in a world which you can't always be that way. Playing is great, but you can't live your life like you're on the bandstand. You have to live a different life when you are off the bandstand. You have to be a little more conformist, and most jazz musicians find that difficult. Artists find it difficult to be a more normal person when they are off the bandstand.
The life of a jazz musician is a difficult life, because you want to play, you want to be, you want to get to the inner spirit and sometimes you drink or you use drugs or you smoke a lot. You do all these things to try to get the spirit out. So it's a difficult existence and a lot of the great people that I have known, and in history, they kind of over-indulge, and they never sort of are able to balance their musical life with their personal life. Maybe it's not necessary to do that. That is another question, I don't know, but I'd like to see young musicians coming up that don't smoke and that don't drink to excess and don't use drugs, and don't sort of debilitate themselves. I think that's where we should go. I think that is what guys should be doing. I don't think you have to drink and use drugs to play good jazz, but that's been the model for so long that a lot of guys get caught up in that, you know.